Saturday, October 10, 2009

You Are In the Driver's Seat

Sometimes you just don't know what to say or how to say it, you are at a loss for words. People disappoint you, plans get derailed, health fails and doctors deliver unexpected news.

Life can take twists and turns that were definitely not shown on the road map you had been following.

I suppose that's how it is when someone is diagnosed with any unexpected condition, including fibromyalgia. Words may suddenly fail you.

And when that diagnosis and sudden fork in your chosen road appears, the inaccurate road map you had been following isn't going to be of much help. In a nanosecond you feel lost. Suddenly it seems as if you are on your own, even if someone is sitting right next to you in the passenger seat, and only you can turn the steering wheel, only you can apply the brakes, only you can accelerate out of control, only you will determine where to go from here.

So whether at a loss for words or simply lost, you are in the driver's seat.

Yogi Berra once said, "When you come to a fork in the road, take it." Since those who are diagnosed with fibromyalgia have no choice in the matter, Yogi's advice is right on target.

Don't let a fork in your mapped out path derail you completely. Take the fork and remap your gameplan from a new starting point. You don't have to lose time and progress, but you do have to reprioritize.

Suddenly the destination seems further away and the road to get there is now a detour, but the the important thing is that you are still heading toward the same destination. You are still you.

When words fail you, rethink and try another tact. When plans fail you, regroup and try another path.

And even from the driver's seat, you can listen. Ignore irritating backseat drivers, but listen to your front seat passengers -those who care about you, listen to those who have been there before, listen to those who are familiar with your circumstances. No, they cannot and do not feel and know what you do, but they can often be of help. They can provide alternatives, suggest new directions, even give you a sample map to follow.

It's still your life. It's still your reality. It's still your detour. You may want to slam your foot down on that accelerator and just fly on by as if nothin has changed. But that isn't going to help and sooner or later you will run out of gas.

Racing ahead is not the best answer, you need to take a pit stop and examine the critical areas of your life that may be affected by this unexpected change. You need to assess your friends and family for those who can be of help. You need to remember that you may be in the driver's seat, but you aren't really alone.

We are all here to support you, whether it's fibromyalgia or some other unexpected turn in the road. We are just down the street, or around the corner, or at the other end of a phone call - so be careful and don't drive right by the support that is so close that you might not see it; take your foot off the accelorator, brake slowly and use us as your rest stop. Let us help where we can, even if all you need is a peaceful place in the shade to think or a cool drink.

You can do this, I know you can. And we're right there behind you. Just check your rearview mirror.